he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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