i barfeds in our rink
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
