It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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