Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
