Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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