Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
