So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
