i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I fill condoms, not promises.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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