i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
