she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
