Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
