We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
