She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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