What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize