doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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