hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
