the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
