is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
