Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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