....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
