Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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