im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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