Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
