My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
