All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
