remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...