I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
