i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize