Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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