Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
