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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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