it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
