Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
