Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
