I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
