Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
