Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
