I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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