so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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