Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
