So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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