He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
