If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
