Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
