do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
