Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
