OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
