Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
