But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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