Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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