Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
