if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
