Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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