last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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