Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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