The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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