she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.