He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.