Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

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(651): View more from Minnesota

accomplished twins. life is a go

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(651): View more from Minnesota

how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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(810): View more from Michigan

You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.

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(205): View more from Alabama

After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out

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(860): View more from Connecticut

His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.

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