I'm passing your future prison.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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