a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
