consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize