There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
