No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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