the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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