I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize